2 months of girly bliss :)

It's hard to believe it's been two months since my beautiful angel has come into my life. She is the sweetest tempered baby. She only cries out when she is hungry and is only waking once now during the night to nurse. She absolutely adores her brothers and they pay her plenty of attention. Their biggest ambition in life right now is making her laugh and smile. I love it :)

The hardest part of being a family of 5? Managing my time wisely. I'm not an overly structured person and now that I have 3 babies, I'm having to utilize each minute. Sure we take breaks from routine, but I can't just not do laundry now...well I can but I will majorly pay for it :) i.e. no life until I get it caught up thus making all other chores get behind and the kiddos don't get their attention they need...well you get the picture :) Not a pretty sight.

The best part of being a family of 5? Feeling needed and wanted and loved....feeling completed as a family unit and planning our goals and dreams together. Sharing my life and babies with a pretty neat fellow that makes me laugh like no one else.

It's not perfect and it's not always roses, but I love where I am and I love being Bryson, Brayden and Willow Grace's Mommy :)

My Random thoughts on Relationships

Well, It's been MONTHS since I've blogged...But with good reason, right? :)

We welcomed our sweet baby girl into the world on December 28, 2010. She is perfect. We love our new family dynamic of 5 and we are slowly adjusting on how to manage and give all 3 kiddos their own individual attention. I seriously don't know how the Duggars do it...I looked at Bryson the other day around suppertime and realized we hadn't had one remotely seriously conversation outside of school all day....Blah on me!

I've been thinking ALOT about relationships lately. First, my relationship with my boys....I want them to know that I love them in the good times and in the bad. So many times I find myself showing them love and affection when they are being lovable...after bathtime when we get ready for bed, or when they first wake up....That is my all time favorite part of the day....well most mornings. ha! They are so snuggly and cuddly. They want their kisses and hugs then. Or when they pick me flowers outside and come running to me with their dirt-filled fingernails and dandelions. I love those moments and it shows. It shows in my voice, on my face, and with my affection. It's the not so lovable moments that I find myself not so readily giving affection, but isn't that when they need it most? Thing is sometimes they are simply being boys and I don't understand it all because I'm girl (there's some rocket science there people! ha!) But Seriously, they are going to take things apart just to see how it works. They are going to accidentally break things because they are clumsy little boys. And it's even in those times that I have to discipline that I'm not finding myself be affectionate like I should. Sure, back talk makes it really hard to be loving, and it's something that cannot be tolerated in our home, but what keeps me from showing them affection after they've been corrected? Is it my anger? frustration? Very convicting thought for me...

Then there's my relationship with my better half. Tim really compliments me in every way. He can call me out on things that nobody else notices, and encourages me to reach my full potential. We laugh at things that most other people probably find stupid. I love to hear him laugh when I'm being crazy. I've been thinking about good and bad times with him, too, and how I treat him during those times. Has your husband ever disappointed you? Even when he didn't intentionally do it? Well we had one of those moments last night. They are FEW and far between....now I know I disappoint him a lot more often, and I'm going somewhere with this so hang with me...it's not a husband bashing post. Tim forgot something that I asked him to plllllease remember. He even wrote it down and erased it (it makes me laugh...really it does). He was more upset that he forgot than I was. I won't lie and say my initial response was "no big deal". Then I realized "Chicka, get your act together....this man is working his hind end off for you. He honestly forgot....so don't get all up in a tizzy." Then I was faced with a decision: Do I show him affection and forgiveness NOW? Or do I pout and really work this thing? It seems simple as I type, but it wasn't easy. It really did hurt my feelings at first (I can't blame pregnancy anymore...ha!), but wouldn't it mean more to show love and affection at a time like this...instead of when he sends me flowers or puts the kiddos to bed?....Afterall, what is unconditional love?

The Lord started this whole thought process in my heart (yes, I think in my heart...it's sometimes more effective then this non-functioning brain of mine!) Does God show me love only when I perform for Him? Is it only when I read my Bible, and go to church, and dress right and talk right? No...It's actually those times that I disappoint Him and seek His forgiveness that He draws near to me, and loves on me. It's the times that I'm most unlovable, that I can sense His presence the most. Why don't I automatically treat those I love the most the same way? Why don't I freely give my love to them reguardless of their behaviour?

I know this is different kind of blog post, but the Lord has been weighing this all on my heart this morning pretty heavy. I want to be accountable to giving this type of love....He has been OOOOO so good to me :)